


I Should Want Them Dead

by LexieCarver



Category: Supernatural
Genre: No other characters, Other, POV Crowley, his feelings and thoughts, introspective crowley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-16 11:59:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13053567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LexieCarver/pseuds/LexieCarver
Summary: Beta:@gettinjoyfulWord Count: 900 (An actual drabble yet again, gasp.)A/N: Crowley’s thoughts and POV doing his short time in the trunk. I feel like Crowley needed to clear the air here. :D Angry if anything, not angsty or fluffy, just an angry POV. This was written for @webcricket’s SPN Advent Challenge day 14 with the prompt, scent: pine.





	I Should Want Them Dead

__

 (Found this on google, not mine)

 

[Also posted on Tumblr-](http://roxy-davenport.tumblr.com/post/168807196086/i-should-want-them-dead)

 

_“This is so bloody infuriating. Me, the King of Hell, was bested by those two barely functioning morons. I was brought down by my own pride, thinking I could outsmart them. And apparently after hundreds of years, those two bested me. Humans bested me. Makes you think, really. After all the deals and double crosses I did, I couldn’t see this coming.”_

 

_“Worse yet, I have all my memories from the time in the church, from my confession to Sam. I saw the way he looked at me, like I was changing, like he wanted to save me. It was sickening. I was weak because they made me weak. They forced these feelings onto me, shoved them down my throat without my consent and then they have the audacity to what? Laugh at what they made me? Embarrass me? Force me to change? It was a momentary lapse. That’s all it was. I’m evil, nothing more, nothing less.”_

 

_“I mean yeah, I would love to be loved. Who wouldn’t want that, but like with forgiveness, I’m so very beyond both. I’ve done terrible things and I’ve enjoyed every moment of them. There’s no going back after that. There’s nothing good left after everything I’ve done. No way back to being human.”_

 

_“I have no idea what they’re building with kidnapping me and holding me here like some mangy dog. What do they hope I’ll do? Kill for them? Talk about my demons? My deals? Well, they are sorely mistaken. I’m the King and I demand respect. RESPECT! I refuse to be chained up here like a dog. Stupid bloody devil’s trap handcuffs. Curses on the person who built these. I will kill the Winchesters the second I see an opening. I will kill them. I will. Won’t I? I haven’t before though. But for this I really should.”_

 

_“I had many chances to end them but every time I didn’t. I could have ended them a hundred times but chose to stick my neck out for them, help them. Of course, when it benefited me, but still I helped them. And this is the thanks I get? This is my reward?”_

 

_“Had I ended them, I wouldn’t be in a bloody smelly trunk. What is that infernal smell? Pine? It smells like a sodding pine tree mixed with mothballs. A four-star resort for a King. Why does one need a scent that strong? And in a trunk no less? What do they bloody put in here? I feel like I’m choking on a sodding Christmas tree. Happy bloody holidays to me. Gag worthy to say the least but back to the question at hand, why didn’t I kill them?”_

 

_“I feel a kindred spirit to Dean but Moose has tried to kill me several times, I have no love for that Winchester. This is what I’ve become. A weakling wondering what could have been? I’m the King of Hell! That doesn’t change just because I’m in a trunk and I’m handcuffed. No, I’m the King. And when this is over, they will burn.”_

 

_“How fast does he drive? How is Dean not dead by now?Judging by the squeals of the tires, the grunts and the screams, It’s quite a battle out there. Would love to help but yeah, in the BLOODY TRUNK. I don’t know how I feel listening to Dean go on hunt after hunt, leaving me in here. I should want him dead. A part of me does for what he’s doing but I don’t know…it’s Dean. I’m not very in touch with my emotions. This should come as no shock to anyone so I don’t know why, but I can’t let him go. Maybe I think we’re kindred. Maybe I’m waiting for my chance to show him how delightful my side can be. I don’t know. Whatever the reason, I’ve become sickeningly worried. What a disgusting and useless emotion, worry is. Especially for a demon King. The aristocracy doesn’t worry that’s for the common demon. But yet I worry, how very confusing and frustrating.”_

 

_“I’m worried about my enemy. What does that say about me? What am I becoming? And how do I get out of this? How do I get rid of these feelings? How can I be a King with these feelings? What did those boys do to me? And why did they stop? I’m a disgusting hybrid. Not fully demon anymore and not fully human. I’m a mess and it’s their fault. I should want them dead.”_

 

_“And don’t even get me started about being here in the dark. A King left alone day after day with no one to talk to. Nothing to do but wait until the Winchesters decide I’m useful. What did I do to deserve that? What use is a King without his kingdom?”_

 

_“What the hell is that light? Are they opening the trunk? Great, yes, let me out you morons. Wait a minute, what is this? Are they gawking at me? What am I an animal in a freakin’ zoo. Let me out. Stupid sodding handcuffs and this thing over my mouth. Sam seemed impressed. It is impressive that Squirrel could get me, ME. Wait a minute, Dean got me all by himself. And why don’t I remember? I was bested by one Winchester. Oh, bloody hell, I am never living this down.”_

 

_“Oh wonderful, they closed the sodding truck and now I’m alone again, alone with these sickening thoughts. Gotta hand it to the Winchesters as far as tortures go, solitary is pretty awful.”_


End file.
